The Brewers/Cubs game was postponed due to cold weather. The White Sox/Nationals game was delayed 15 minutes because the umpires were stuck in traffic. Unfortunately, Wednesday's Mets/Phillies game started right on time. Jeremy Hefner gave up five runs in the first inning and the Phillies, even with Kyle "Philly's Pelfrey" Kendrick on the mound, never looked back as they won 7-3 and took two out of three from the Mets.

It unraveled for the Mets in that first inning when Chase Utley hit a two run HR after Mike Baxter took a horrible angle on a line drive double to right field by Jimmy Rollins. (Ironic how Baxter was the guy to make the great defensive play during the no-hitter, because he should not be playing the outfield on a regular basis, and that play was why.) Then, after a single and a walk, Dan Warthen came out to talk to Hefner, and might as well have read him his grocery list because whatever he said was completely useless as Dominic Brown sealed the game with a long three run dinger to right field. Dan Warthen's advice is like a boogie board on the Titanic.

And speaking of that home run, I wonder if Larry Anderson or the rest of the Phillies sycophants and hypocrites would like to comment on Dominic Brown's choreography at home plate:

Anyone? Larry? Jimmy? Shane? Gary Sr.?

/crickets

Oh I forgot, it's only evil if Jose Reyes or Jordany Valdespin does it. Right?

The first key play for the Mets came in the next half inning after John Buck homered (yes, again), and the Mets loaded the bases with one out. First, they had to hope Jeremy Hefner didn't hit into a double play, which he didn't. And then Valdespin was at bat. Valdespin was swinging as if it would be his last in the majors, but just missed a couple of Kendrick pitches that could have been put into orbit. The frustrating part of that at-bat, and the whole night really, was that Kendrick came in to the game with a WHIP of 1.76, and batters were hitting .320 against him. He was ripe to be crushed, but he wasn't. It should have been a game of tee ball on both sides, but the Mets couldn't quite get that big hit off of Kendrick and they paid for it.

The second one came with runners on second and third in the fifth inning, and Ike Davis at the plate bloops one to left center. Valdespin on third tags up. Daniel Murphy goes a little ways towards third base, and then as if he had the ghost of Angel Pagan hanging over him like a damn poltergeist telling him "Run Daniel! RUN!!!", he takes off for third base before the ball comes down. Ben Revere catches the ball and Valdespin takes off at 3/4 speed, probably figuring that Murphy wouldn't do something stupid like run more than halfway towards third base before the ball comes down. But stupid is as stupid does, and Murphy was doubled off second base before Valdespin could instagram himself crossing the plate. And yeah, Valdespin probably should have been running full speed if for no other reason than to foster good habits. But he wasn't going to score before Murphy pulled his Pagan.

After that it was all over but the crying ... that is, the crying by Jonathan Wimpelbon to the umpire to call the game with one out to go because it was raining. Awwww, poor baby. The Mets are going to Minneapolis to play in the snow on Friday. You can pitch to one more batter in the freakin' rain.

Wimplebon really is hilarious, isn't he? I guess he gets the Cole "I Can't Wait For This S**t To Be Over" Hamels award for the night. Jagoff.

Well it's now time for the Mets to travel for an April series in Minneapolis without a dome. Keith Hernandez had remarked that he had already googled the Radisson in Minneapolis and found out it had a fireplace in the lobby. Useful, except that I'm not sure SNY will let Keith broadcast from the fireplace. Though I'm sure he'll try.

Two things we'll all miss this weekend: Keith broadcasting from a fireplace, and Mike Pelfrey in the Twins rotation. It's already a lost weekend.

Editor's note: It would behoove me not to bring up a positive, and that's ... are you sitting down ... Lucas Duda. His two solo home runs accounted for the rest of the offense for the Mets on Wednesday, and he jacked both of them to the point that they would have been out of any park including Central Park. The first one was hit against hurricane force winds. His defense has been atrocious, but so far his offense is holding up, and his hits aren't his usual 67-hoppers through the hole on the right side. He's hitting ropes and bombs without sacrificing his plate discipline, and this is what I've been asking for all along. I don't quite know how to handle Duda being good, except to wonder whether you trade him while his value is rising, and to bring you this photoshop:

All right, so true story: I saw Dillon Gee give up seven runs in three innings, including three dingers in the third inning (not to mention an RBI single to Cliff Freakin' Lee in the second) to propel the Phillies to an 8-3 victory. Soon after I saw the seven runs, I threw up. And that's not my normal "uhhhh this game made me sick" metaphor. No. It was 7-2 Phillies, and I actually threw up. Coincidence?

Well medically, yes. It was a coincidence. But the fact remains, I saw Dillon Gee pitch, and then soon after that I threw up. There had to be some sort of correlation between the two. It's like when Johan Santana either hurt his shoulder overcompensating for the bum ankle he suffered, or throwing an angry bullpen session in March. But everybody wants to point to 136 pitches on June 1st. So I'll take the same liberty and tell you that Dillon Gee, though indirectly, caused me to puke.

On another note completely, and as much as Kevin Burkhardt's interview with Matt Harvey was well done, insightful, and a needed distraction from the game at that point, you do realize that the pre-game show is an hour, right? Plenty of time for a five minute interview with last night's star. Yet this had to happen during the fourth inning tonight? And it isn't like they just decided to interview Harvey because the game sucked, they hyped this interview before the game started. So as good as the interview might have been, half the people watching took nothing away from it because they're too busy wondering why Lucas Duda was replaced by Jordany Valdespin on a double switch. Of course we found out later that the double switch was necessary for Valdespin to piss off the city of Philadelphia.

And that segues into the best part of Tuesday night:

Ben Revere didn't play that ball well off bat... and then, Jordany Valdespin acts like a complete idiot when he reaches third base

— Kevin Cooney (@KevinCooney) April 10, 2013

You can't make the worst outfield in the majors & then u prance and pose after a 3B down 8-2. Get a freaking clue

— Kevin Cooney (@KevinCooney) April 10, 2013

Okay first off, worst outfield? Umm, you have seen Juan Pierre play, right Kevin?

Second, and to be fair, Cooney did acknowledge that it was also wrong when Shane Victorino was being a douchenuts for this entire 7+ years in Philadelphia. Whether he was so adamant about events like Victorino standing on home plate and clapping towards the Mets dugout when it happened is up for debate. But the bottom line is when anybody in Philadelphia is irked by something ridiculously harmless like Jordany Valdespin clapping after a triple, it makes me smile. It's nice to know that after all of their success against the Mets between 2007-last night and after an 8-3 trouncing on Tuesday that the Mets can still get into the heads of the city of Philadelphia. So good for you, Jordany.

Ding Dong, The Doc Is Dead. Or at least ... his streak of wins against the Mets which dated back to July 16th, 2001 when Roy Halladay was outdueled by (are you sitting down?) Steve Trachsel is dead. (A game, by the way, which brought Trachsel's record to a robust 3-10 ... way to go!) The Mets trounced a wild and velocity challenged Halladay in a 7-2 victory which not only featured another great outing by Matt Harvey (seven innings, three hits, two walks, nine strikeouts) and another home run by John Buck, but despite Halladay's previous success against the Mets was a win that most fans saw coming a mile away. Hell, I was even halfway confident that the Mets would take Doc behind the woodshed, and when have you known me to be confident that the Mets were going to beat the Phillies? Things were so bad for Halladay that Lucas Duda, of all people, got a solid swing and hit a frozen rope up the middle against him.

So now even though I have no personal beef with Halladay as I have with certain other Phillies pitchers, this is obviously the time for me, and Met fans around the world, to dance on Doc's grave as the 36-year-old's streak against the Mets has been put to bed emphatically, right?

Halladay very reflective, analytical postgame. Had perspective. Said his son texted him during game that he's still his hero.

— Andy Martino (@MartinoNYDN) April 9, 2013

Damn you Martino! Why must you remind me that baseball players are human beings with families and adorable children and such! Especially while they wear Phillies uniforms! Nooooooo, you gotta remind us about your precious perspective. Why can't you let me have my fun at his expense? Instead you have to go and get me choked up. This is not the time to be choked up and sympathetic towards adorable children of enemy pitchers! First you go and fool us into thinking about where we are in this world with your ethnic tensions, then you put that 80's "awwwwwwwww" soundtrack in my head when all I want to do is play Bachman Turner Overdrive on my iPod! I'll get you for this, Martino ... if it's the last thing I do in life!!!

Some might take Monday's win as a symbol of revenge for all those Doc Halladay victories ... dominant victories ... at the Mets' expense. You know what the best revenge would be? The Phillies not beating Matt Harvey for the next five years. Or ten. The current victory streak stands at two. (And it should have been three except for that home run that Ryan Howard hit off Josh Edgin that still hasn't landed yet.)

Let's start off with what might be construed as an inconvenient truth: It took way, way, waaaaaaaaay too much work to take two out of three from the Miami Marlins, or as Eddie calls them, Giancarlo and the Blowfish. They're terrible, and they showed it again today in a game that most teams would have had in their hip pocket against the Mets. But because their left fielder has had his arm insured by Lloyd's Of Ronzoni, their third baseman picked the moment where Kirk Nieuwenhuis was standing still 45 feet from first base to not pay attention, and their manager turned Marlon Byrd into Wade Boggs by bringing the infield in, the Mets got their first "whew, that was almost a disaster" victory as Byrd drove in two runs in the ninth to give the Mets a stirring 4-3 victory.

Now, you want to bring up Jose Fernandez as proof the Marlins aren't as bad as we think they are? First off, imagine if a Met pitcher making his major league debut had the first pitch he ever threw in the majors out of play, and also had the audacity to name his breaking ball like Ricky Vaughn. Jimmy Rollins and Shane Victorino would leave their teams and fly to Citi Field just so they can look on disapprovingly. And Mike Francesa would be busy sharpening an axe, his tongue, and a discarded Diet Coke bottle to eviscerate this pitcher on the radio. But Jose Fernandez, well he already has a Yankeeography in the works (which will debut a year earlier thanks to Loria bringing him up to start the season.) I hope the ball that Marlon Byrd hit which cost Fernandez his first major league win will also find its way on Jose's mantle.

Second, I'm not entirely sure that the Mets had trouble with "The Defector" because their retinas were already burned to a crisp from those uniforms they were wearing:

And the third point, which may or may not be in direct contrast to the second point, is that if Aaron Laffey was facing the Mets, a team notorious for laying eggs against pitchers either making their major league debut or have already made the meteoric descent from prospect to suspect, we might be putting Laffey in the Hall of Fame right now. But Aaron Laughy™, who is stretching himself out for even longer outings than the one you saw today, was on the Mets' side today. And his ten hits in 4.1 innings earned him another start. Joyous.

But if this Mets win proved anything, it's that you can't make snap judgments. Ruben Tejada was instrumental with his defense and baserunning. Greg Burke, Scott Rice, and LaTroy Hawkins bounced back from Friday's nonsense to have solid outings in relief of Laughy. It's incredible how some people gave up on them after the fourth game of the season. Here's a sample of the vitriolic spew:

"Ruben, who was as solid as they come defensively last season, has been anything but this season. Terry Collins tried to defend him in the post game newser when he said something to the effect of "well he's so good we're shocked when he does something wrong." I got news for you TC, he's been atrocious defensively since the last few games of spring training, eliminating the possibility that he's simply "cold out there". So no, you shouldn't be shocked. I don't know what exactly you should be, because when your shortstop can't field all of a sudden it's like watching a loved one fall off a cliff ... there's nothing you can do except wave goodbye."

"But it isn't like the bullpen helped at all after that. Everything the Marlins hit in that seventh inning off of Greg Burke and Scott Rice were freakin' ropes. I'm starting to figure out that there might have been a reason that these two were in the minor leagues for a combined 83 years. That isn't even mentioning LaTroy Hawkins and the laser show the Marlins lit up the sky with off him in the ninth inning."

It's stuff like that which drives me nuts. Complaining about guys after the fourth game of the season. Egads, can't everybody just calm down and ...

Wait, I wrote that?

Umm ...

Uhh ...

For as much as John Buck was a huge factor in Saturday's 7-3 victory over the Marlins, so was Juan Pierre. And their paths collided on multiple occasions during the game ... between Pierre bobbling Buck's two run double, and Pierre's baffling interference call when he collided with Buck well into foul territory after scoring a run, this was the kind of game that makes the winning team feel good about itself, and gets 35-year-old outfielders cut.

"It's kind of weird they get rewarded for making a bad throw."  -Juan Pierre

No Juan, they got rewarded because you, despite being fast, couldn't avoid a lumbering catcher who was a good fifteen feet away from home plate. He's like the guy on the train who insists on standing right near you just to get near the doors closest to the staircase even though the rest of the train car is empty.

But what heartened me most, more than Jon Niese's gutty outing, Buck's four RBI's, and the fact that the Mets' defensive atrocities on the infield didn't hurt them this time (they were neutralized by Miguel Olivo pretending that baserunners were trying to steal right-center field instead of second base), was the proof that sometimes fans in good seats pay attention to the game:

Home plate umpire Jim Joyce stopped play in the eighth inning of the Mets' 7-3 victory over the Marlins on Saturday afternoon to ask that fans behind home plate stop tipping off pitch locations for Mets hitters. "Apparently, there was a couple of fans screaming out location or something like that," Mets catcher John Buck said. "So, obviously, we don't want that. That could get somebody hurt. That's Little League. But we appreciate the passionate fans." According to Buck, the veteran umpire Joyce intervened when Marlins catcher Miguel Olivo realized that fans were shouting out locations with pitcher Chad Qualls in the game.

Bless those fans. Sure, you don't want people getting hurt, but fans that pay for those primo seats actually paying attention to the game instead of waving to get on television or talking on their cell phones incessantly? And trying to make a difference? Those people should be rewarded, yet of course they won't. My only question: Was it really necessary to shout out pitch location with Chad Qualls on the mound? The guy with an ERA of LOL? Why risk injury for that?

If you want your weaknesses exposed, nothing will do it like losing to the Miami F**king Marlins. And lose the Mets did by a score of 7-5 ... a score made that close by a typical Mets tease which it should have never come to because the Marlins are terrible.

First off, the seventh inning error by Ruben Tejada which led to a slew of unearned runs was a typical case of letting the ball play you instead of playing the ball. Ruben, who was as solid as they come defensively last season, has been anything but this season. Terry Collins tried to defend him in the post game newser when he said something to the effect of "well he's so good we're shocked when he does something wrong." I got news for you TC, he's been atrocious defensively since the last few games of spring training, eliminating the possibility that he's simply "cold out there". So no, you shouldn't be shocked. I don't know what exactly you should be, because when your shortstop can't field all of a sudden it's like watching a loved one fall off a cliff ... there's nothing you can do except wave goodbye. Whatever his problem is he'd better pick it up before Terry Collins waves good bye to the season and then his job.

But it isn't like the bullpen helped at all after that. Everything the Marlins hit in that seventh inning off of Greg Burke and Scott Rice were freakin' ropes. I'm starting to figure out that there might have been a reason that these two were in the minor leagues for a combined 83 years. That isn't even mentioning LaTroy Hawkins and the laser show the Marlins lit up the sky with off him in the ninth inning. And in between all that there was the Justin Ruggiano double, also hit hard. But hell, was Lucas Duda taken down with a sniper rifle or was it Roger McDowell from behind the bushes? My lord I didn't expect him to catch the ball anyway but he was almost there and then he just fell down!

I know that Duda is the last guy I should be picking on, especially when he was impressive at the plate today for the most part. He just missed a loud home run early in the game, and even his ground ball single in the ninth was crushed as  opposed to the Luis Sojo specials he usually comes up with. Perhaps, just perhaps, the new stance is working ever so slightly. And perhaps, his hitting will calm me down about how unwatchable he is in the outfield. Compared to some of his teammates he was Babe Freakin Ruth against Alex Sanabia who, the last season he was in the majors, batters hit .289 against while pitching to a WHIP of 1.45. But against people wearing blue and orange, he's Steve Nebraska. It got so bad that SNY was enticing viewers to come back for the bottom of an inning because John Buck was coming up to bat.

That's right kids, don't take a bathroom break while John Buck is due up! Used to be SNY would count down to David Wright at bats ... Johan Santana starts ... R.A. Dickey starts ... the dramatic music was reserved for them. Now, John Buck gets that treatment. I know he's had a good three games ... and I like Buck. But this is our dramatic moment? John Buck coming up? Excuse me while I go hire John Williams to score my next trip to work.

And don't get me started on Jordany Valdespin getting picked off at first base because he thought it would be a good idea to steal second base with David Captain Freaking America Wright up at bat. As punishment, Valdespin should be made to play the next game without his cup. Perhaps sporting goods stores sell a cup that fits neatly over your brain.

The worst part? It's the Maaaaaaaaaaaaarliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins! Helloooooooooo? They scored one run in their first three games and the Mets give up a touchdown and lose. Even in the Mets' decayed state they should be able to beat this team 19 times out of 19 (Don't tell me how unrealistic I'm being.) With Aaron Laffey going on Sunday we're possibly one Jon Niese bad start away from something I don't even want to think about.

Over the first two games of the 2013 season, I haven't had the opportunity to boo anybody. I was starting to feel like Oscar Madison when he tried so hard to be nice to Felix that he was holding in a whole lot of anger than came out while he was sleepwalking. Thankfully, I had a chance to let out a couple of large boos on Thursday.

Oh, not at Citi Field, I let them out at the Willets Point train station.

See, I booed the conductor on the 7 train that I was on. Not for fun, but because I had to. See, as we pulled into the station ... the Willets Point train station which is seconds away from the home of the New York Mets, the conductor announced "Willets Point, Willets Point. Home of that other New York team." Now I reflexively booed while I was on the train (and I was the only one), but that was useless since he couldn't hear me. So I did what any calm, rational person would do: I waited on the platform and then when the train was leaving the station, I booed him. And then he gave me the "shush" sign and I booed him again. Louder and longer the second time.

Yeah, I felt better. It was a little bit like booing Larry Jones during a spring training game in Orlando and inspiring him to get three hits. I mean, he got three hits but I feel like I won the war because it wore him down and even though it took five years, he retired. And I feel like I started him on the path to oblivion. And speaking of Larry Jones, he feels that kids need to toughen up because he was dragged across a football field by his facemask and he's not mad, but call him a spiteful prick and that's crossing the line? Larry, you raging douchenozzle.

So even as the Mets lost 2-1 against the Padres for their first loss of the season, I didn't even feel that bad. Partly because I had gotten my booing out of the way on the train platform, and partly because I was on the Shea Bridge with many of the blogging illuminati for the final five innings having conversations which started with calling Marlon Byrd the poor man's Derek Bell, continued with the realization that we just insulted poor men everywhere with that analogy, to wondering if poor men had a chance to not be poor by spending a night with Derek Bell on his boat, would they do it? It's still a toss up, but it's a conversation that must be had.

We also traded stories about attending Francisco Rodriguez meltdowns. And this was important. Because as much as Thursday's 2-1 loss was frustrating after scoring 19 runs in the first two games yet still not being able to hit Eric Stults if their lives depended on it, and frustrating because Dillon Gee put his spring woes behind him and pitched a solid game that was wasted, we reminded ourselves that we've endured worse.

I live by a very strict rule, and that's this: "Nobody cares about your fantasy team." I think that in eight years of blogging I've ... maybe ... mentioned a fantasy team of mine once or twice. There really is no reason for you to care about who is on my fantasy team and how they're doing. So I never mention them, even though I'm sure many of you who are reading this are fantasy baseball junkies yourselves. But tonight, I'll make an exception:

You know that you're doing well in a fantasy sports draft when somebody in the room, or in the chat if you draft on Yahoo!, gives you a "dammit" or another expletive of their choice. So I draft Matt Harvey in the 11th round of a 12 team league, pick number 126. How mad was the guy who was going to take him three picks later? First I get "slimeball" in the chat room. Then I get "F*** YOU" texted to my phone (and that doesn't spell "flag"). He wasn't done there. I get a voice mail after the draft:

"So on top of screwing me in the draft, you're dodging my phone call? Not good, not good. I know where you live, I know where you sleep. I will hunt you doooooown! Matt Harvey? At that round? Are you kidding me? I was a shoo-in, that was miiiiiine! You no good lousy bum. We will deal with this. You think you're getting off easy on Saturday. I told you we're going on a mission? Put on your Kevlar, dude. We're going deep. Good luck, God bless."

I'm not sure what that means, but if you don't see a blog post from me on Saturday night, you'll know what happened. (Look for me face down in a random gutter in Queens.) But considering what Matt Harvey did tonight, the question should really be "how the hell did he last until pick 126?" So no, I don't feel bad about taking him when I did. In fact, I'll have a drink to it on Saturday.

Here's the most impressive thing about Harvey against the Padres on Wednesday: He pitched seven innings, gave up only one hit and struck out ten batters in an 8-4 win, and at least early on he was doing it with pretty much just his fastball. He was mixing sliders in every once in a while but damn, Harvey was basically daring this lineup to hit number one and they couldn't do it. You could reason that "well, it was the Padres". Bull. Major league hitters are supposed to catch up to a fastball every now and then. They sure as hell caught up to LaTroy Hawkins' fastball in the ninth, didn't they. But they couldn't quite catch up to Matt Harvey. And you knew the Padres were completely screwed when they started coming out with the cold weather gear ... the head warmers and all that. Funny how on even a cold night how much colder you feel when you're down 8-0 to Matt Harvey. Not exactly Kevlar, but against Harvey, the Padres could have used some.

More and more people think that appointment viewing is dead between DVR's and Netflix. Matt Harvey is appointment viewing this season, kids. Don't miss a start. You'll be glad you didn't pass him up. I'm glad I didn't pass him up, whether it be in the 11th round, or at 7PM on a Wednesday night.

Anybody up for the ballet? Because Mike Piazza is:

Former Major League Baseball catcher Mike Piazza will be taking center stage with the Miami City Ballet. The Miami Beach-based dance company has tapped Piazza to play the role of a gangster in the May 3 production of "Slaughter on Tenth Avenue." Piazza won't be dancing in tights. He'll wear a 1920s-era gangster costume, say a few lines and then watch the rest of the performance from a seat onstage. Piazza says his turn with the troupe is his gift to his 6-year-old daughter, a student at Miami City Ballet School. The ballet features gangsters, strippers and an attempted murder plot.".

This should pack the house, or at the very least attract more people than Marlins Stadium will. I'll especially like the part when Gangster Piazza murders the character played by Guillermo Mota for failing to pay back a loan. He'll do it through interpretive dance.

I like the day off between Opening Day and Game 2. When spring training starts, it's non-stop. Every day it's a new workout, a new story, a new pulled muscle. But once Opening Day is come and gone, we're on our way, and more often than not at 1-0. And you get that day to bask in the glory of Opening Day. It's the upbeat before the 161 games of death metal beats that baseball provides. For a Met fan, it's like being in suspended animation ... the roller coaster right before it goes down ... a bubble that only bursts when Game 2 starts.

Most years, it's like that. This season, the bubble burst with news on Shaun Marcum:

Marcum was shut down after he reported pain in his neck during the warmups for a simulated game Tuesday evening in Port St. Lucie. The team said he will be reassessed on Wednesday. 

Look, Opening Day usually works out for the Mets. It's the other 161 games that are always the challenge. But we always had that off day after Game 1 to enjoy being 1-0. Not so much this season, with this news that Marcum isn't going to start on Sunday and we might have to endure a start by Aaron Laffey, albeit against the Marlins. Shaun Marcum looks like he is going to be the 2013 version of the Yeti. Oh, people will claim that they've seen him, but nobody is really sure that he actually exists. He got scratched from a game that was made up. Who is to say that Shaun Marcum isn't made up? A figment of our imagination?