Well, I hope you're happy with yourselves.
Well, I hope you're happy with yourselves.
So if Snoop Manuel fictionally railed over the Jenrry Mejia injury, just think of what we could make up regarding Pedro Beato, Fernando Nieve, Ryan Church and cold spaghetti.
Well, the nice story about Queens kid made good is on hold for two weeks, since Beato has elbow tendinitis. That leaves Jason Isringhausen as the last remaining option out of the bullpen that doesn't cause me to put tin foil on my cat's head ... you know, to be safe. Mike O'Connor takes his place and becomes the only lefty in the bullpen.
That's right, Tim Byrdak, I said "only lefty in the bullpen." What are you going to do about it? Strike out Aubrey Huff, perhaps? Yeah, didn't think so.
In case you missed it, here is the summary of every Tim Byrdak Met appearance to date:
If there was ever a doomsday scenario coming to fruition, Tuesday was it. The Mets lose again, Jose Reyes has three hits and three walks, and the team administering the beating is the team that seems to be the most interested in him, the San Francisco Giants. If you're a Jose Reyes fan, and chances have it that you are, you'd better start waving good-bye. Make your plans to buy those tickets for the end of July and practice your standing ovation technique. Hell, if Reyes keeps this up this series, the Giants just might take Reyes to their team bus on Thursday afternoon. Brandon Belt, Madison Bumgarner, or Zack Wheeler? Or all three? Sure. Reyes had a good enough three games to justify that.
In the latest installment of "Mind of the Manager", Jerry Manuel discusses what he read on Mets.com:
"Jenrry Mejia has a complete medial collateral ligament tear in his right elbow, Mets medical director Dr. David Altchek discovered Monday in an MRI exam."
M****er f***er! I knew it. I knew it. Why didn't they listen to me? I told that kid not to worry about throwing anything but that m***er f***ing fastball and they all thought I was crazy. Crazy! Now they know that I was worried about that kid's health all along!
This was a day I thought would never come.
No, I don't mean because the Mets actually beat the Phillies. You know what I'm talking about ... that other big news. I never thought the day would come where the face of the September 11th attacks would fall victim to American forces. I would have expected to hear that his death was quiet, natural, five years ago, other terms to that affect. But America brought the symbol of evil to justice, and I never thought it would have been allowed to happen. It's certainly a day to be thankful to live in a country where the people protecting it are relentless and unwavering in their willingness to risk their lives in that pursuit.
So this Doc Halladay fellow, turns out he may be overrated a tad. I mean, he gave up more runs to the Mets than Vance Worley did. How can he be any good?
Oh okay, the 18 straight strikes to start the game ... and y'know, those Hall of Fame credentials. I gotcha now.
There was a moment in the first inningwhere David Wright looked at the umpire while smiling as if to say "dude, how am I supposed to hit this m***ther f***er? You grab a f***ing bat and try it." Then I remember that Wright would never talk fresh to an umpire. What a nice man.
The sadness of it is that this wasn't a typical 10-0 loss to Doc, Jon Niese battled him as hard as he could, even almost every step of the way that Niese took. But here's the difference between solid pitcher and future Hall of Famer: Halladay gave up 7 hits to Niese's 6, and walked one to Niese's two. But Doc got eight more men out than Niese, and only threw nine more pitches than Niese did. Nine more pitches, eight more outs. 107 pitches, 80 strikes. The guy is a freaking surgeon. (Hence, I guess, the nickname "Doc".) He was so good that FOX didn't get to the Phillies defensive alignment until the third inning. Now I don't know how much of that is Halladay's efficient work and how much of that was because ... well, FOX, but damn.
There was a hero in all this: My DVR, which mercifully only saved the first 45 minutes of FOX's broadcast for some reason. You know how they say that these television recorders have become more interactive and intuitive? Well the gremlin in my box decided that I really don't need to see more of two and a half innings of Doc Halladay against the Mets. Some DVR's have artificial intelligence, mine is the only cable box in the world that has an artificial conscience.
Sunday brings another chance to show the baseball consuming world how a mediocre lineup becomes meek as they'll face Cliff Lee on national television. Hopefully, the gremlin in my cable box will sneak out in the middle of the night and put an axe through the screen. Time Warner Cable ... saving Mets fans from themselves.
The Mets made Vance Worley look so much like Sandy Koufax on Friday that now you can get your Vance Worley Brooklyn Dodgers jersey at Citi Field starting Tuesday.
But what did we really expect from a team who historically spits the bit against rookie pitchers? What did we really expect from a team that employs a pitcher who has a road ERA against division opponents of a hundred and five? You expected a win? Because they built a win streak against one team behind them in the standings (that had already won the first two games of the series), one team who threw their bottom three pitchers at them, and one team that was missing Ryan Zimmerman?
I know better. Deep down you know better too. This team makes tons of rookies look like all-stars for reasons that escape me. They've done this since 1989. So no, a 10-0 loss in a game where the 0 featured the team's ace-like substance and the 10 featured the team throwing out Vance Worley doesn't surprise me. Not in the least.
I mean, look at this guy. He doesn't have a glove to chew on thus he resorts to eating his own fingers off so that he wouldn't have to face Ryan Howard ever again. This is our ace. The one that only pitches well when he's vomiting all over the place. Sounds like a Major League sequel. Worley can wear those goggles and play Rick Vaughn (since the original actor will probably be busy ... er, touring.)
Who will Doc Halladay and Cliff Lee be playing? Probably the guys call the Mets losers "either by birth or by choice". Though they won't need their words, only their arms this weekend to prove that theory. And then it won't be long before that six game winning streak is proven to be a mirage.
"The two clubs are a lot different ... over here in New York it seems as if everything is somewhat segregated ... guys stick to themselves pretty much and in D.C. it was more unified ... it's different everywhere you go, but I'm trying to get accustomed to it ..." -Willie Harris, when asked to compare his old club to his new club before Thursday's game
Or maybe the team just doesn't like your cologne.
I guess there's no better way to end a superstition-fueled winning streak than to call on the efforts of a pitcher that throws more like you would picture a shaman would throw it ... with a 65 mph eephus curve and other assorted junk, Livan must depend on communication with the spiritual world to gain success.
Or, as Terry Collins would say, he's just really good at relying on location. But where's the fun in that? If black uniforms can cause a six-game win streak, then Livan talks to spirits. It's the only rational explanation. He pitches eight innings and tames the Mets with stuff that's at Dickey speed (some would argue that Robert Alan just recently hired Livan's spirits for some freelance work), he scores a run, he drives one in on a safety squeeze ... it's all very spiritual. Are the spirits evil? Or did Livan just catch them on the right night? Nobody knows.
But in any event, it's good that the Mets are going into the Phillie series without a pesky winning streak hanging over their heads, along with the pressures that come with it. More good news: Mike Pelfrey, who will pitch on Friday against some rookie, is still kinda sick. And as we've learned, Pelfrey does his best work with bugs. He'll need these viruses to go into battle against Vance Worley, who I believe had a starring role in I Love Lucy before becoming the original host of Wheel of Fortune. It's just the type of pitcher who historically murders the Mets because he hasn't pitched enough to be scouted. But with Doc Halladay and Cliff Lee behind him, all Worley will have to do is hurt the Mets' feelings before the other two attempt to go in for the kill.