(Editor's note: In my very first post ... ever ... one of the things I promised was jokes at Jason Phillips' expense.  I look back and I realize that I failed in this regard.  I humbly apologize and bring you some topical Phillips humor:)

Ruben Tejada had gone 0-for-28 before he had come up in the seventh inning against Houston on Wednesday. One more would have matched him with the immortal Jason Phillips who once had a streak of 0-for-29. The ironic part was that Tejada had matched Phillips earlier in the season by length of hitting streak by a rookie. But just one more at-bat and Ruben would have had to wear the very pair of goggles that Phillips left behind back in 2004.

Instead, Tejada cracked a double off Brett Myers, and R.A. Dickey followed with a double of his own. Dickey would later score to give the Mets a 2-0 lead. Ruben no longer was in danger of wearing the goggles.

But Dickey, in to close his own game in the ninth with a 2-1 lead, gave up a dinger to Geoff Blum (first of the season ... why not!) to tie the game and cause me to put my head through a wall. For about a half inning I thought I was Eli Manning having just been hit by Calvin Pace. And who could blame Dickey if he went to the dugout and did the same thing? Any offense from the Mets and Dickey would be 15-4 ... or, something. So I think we would have forgiven him if he went postal on his teammates (but not their fathers-in-law).  Even David Wright was sickened by the offensive display he has been partially responsible for. Luckily, Dickey isn't as reckless as I am. And I came to in time to see Ike Davis squander an opportunity in the tenth with the bases loaded.

Davis, you see, was on his own 0-for-19 odyssey after he grounded out in the tenth.  This presented a problem because who would want to wear those "I Like Ike" t-shirts if they depicted our hero wearing Jason Phillips' goggles?  That's a worse marketing idea than Our Team Our Time.  What would Modell's do then?

Luckily, Davis got himself a base hit the next at-bat, and then drove in the winning run with a sac fly in the fourteenth.  So that's three runs in 14 innings, and a victory over the equally offensively challenged Houston Astros which, let's face it, was a battle to see which lineup could underachieve more.  And as a result, Phillips model goggles are being passed around the Houston clubhouse.  Sure, they'll use that whole "Bobby Parnell was hitting 102 on the gun" excuse, but c'mon.  There were 12 other innings.  So put on your goggles and live with it.

Oh, and ... uh, Jason Phillips was so slow the Chariots of Fire theme plays when he walks.  Yeah, that was worth waiting five seasons.

There's probably a whole generation of people completely unaware that such a thing as a "Disqualification List" in major league baseball.  When you can make scores of people aware of a list this important, that's how you know you've done something so heinous as to offend the senses of an entire country.

My favorite part of Frankie Rodriguez being put on the "list" is hearing Kevin Burkhardt talk about the prohibited activities list in Frankie's contract that holds the key to whether his disqualification, which deprives him of salary and service time, will hold up or not.  And the only think I keep thinking is ... if the words "player is prohibited from beating up old people" has to be written into a contract, what does that say about society?  In the 80's, there were only a few things that any contract needed to say:

• Player is prohibited from riding motorcycles or similar thrill-seeking vehicles.
• Player is prohibited from skydiving or other dangerous activity.
• Player is prohibited from giving away the ending of Hill Street Blues for teammates who taped them.

Now, special clauses have to be put in for special people like Frankie.  "Do not pummel old people, children, or small animals".  This is necessary?  Well, obviously it is these days.  Especially when you've got a players union who thinks the Mets actions are "without basis" and will most assuredly ask the world what its definition of "pummel" is.

At least Frankie used his only shred of honor to admit that it was the fight that blew up his pitching hand.  Yeah, character.  Pass it on.

Luckily there was a game to concentrate on for a couple of hours.  The good news: No relievers were harmed in the making of this loss.  The bad news: they lost.  Hunter Pence turned Johan Santana's complete game into just your run of the mill "L" with two home runs.  And David Wright failed in his attempt to go the entire month without an RBI.  But to get all the way to the 17th of the month without one is something one has to work at, and Wright gave it a great try.  He commemorated the occasion by giving a framed copy of the lineup card to Hisanori Takahashi, who promptly bashed it over Wright's head in a rage caused by the fact he didn't get into the game.

Nice to know Takahashi has already learned the subtle nuances of closing.

Never did I think that the lunacy of 2009 be approached must less be surpassed.

Then I found out that Frankie Rodriguez was out for the season ... with a thumb injury "almost certainly related to" his attack on his father-in-law.

Almost.

Karma ... must have been.  Except when it's not.  Because while you might think the Mets finally have the silver bullet to be rid of his contract, you then have to realize that the Mets need to aim straight at the players' union ... a 500 lb. behemoth.  Can the Mets really prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that the injury was due to the fight when he pitched on Saturday after cracking a man's skull on Wednesday, and the Mets weren't notified until Sunday?

And you tell me that with all that time in the holding cell at Citi Field, Frankie didn't realize his hand was hurting?  And with all that time to think in that cell that he didn't realize that if he presented this injury before an appearance on the mound that he would put himself in an inpenetrable position known as "I'm screwed"?

Yeah, the punch most likely tore his hand.  Can the Mets prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that it was the punch, or even the cuffs slapped on him and not any pitch he threw on Saturday?  Because that's what the union behemoth is going to require the Mets to prove.  That last appearance pretty much made it impossible.  For that reason I don't think the Mets, well-intentioned as they may be, are getting out of this despite what we all hope for.  Because that would mean that the Mets would catch a break, and we all know that in this universe, that doesn't happen anymore.  We're going to be stuck with Frankie Rodriguez making a billion dollars while Snoop Manuel sits down young players and decides he wants to win games when the season's over for the rest of our natural lives, because he insists on trying to throw out these smoke screens as if Met fans were idiots and would never see through it.  And even when Snoop gets fired, the next Snoop will find a way to make our lives f***ing miserable because that's the way life seems to go.

Christ, even Hisanori Takahashi doesn't think Hisanori Takahashi should be the closer ... even though he closed pretty well for one night.  Now Snoop is supposed to find an eighth inning guy again?  Great.  Hey, Sean Green's coming back so he can pitch a 1-2-3 eighth prompting Snoop to use him every day for a month until he gives up ten runs in an inning and his arm flies into the Caesar's Club while throwing a punch at Manuel in the dugout.  But the Mets can't void his contract because the detachment of the ligaments actually came three pitches before he threw the punch and his skin broke off.  When does this end??!?!!???!?

"Where are you with Castillo and Tejada at second?" -Reporter, after Sunday's 3-1 loss

"I have no idea." -Snoop Manuel

Snoop?  No idea?  There's a big f***ing shocker.

His post-game news conference was telling, even besides the fact that Snoop doesn't have the first clue as to what's going on, whether it be second base, Frankie's arrest, or life in general.  Snoop seemed, more than ever, like a defeated man.  From the "I have no idea" quote, to the part when he was saying that the Mets need to go on a run, to being asked if the Mets had enough to get out of this funk offensively and replying "nooooooooooooo, no no no no no no", and then hope for a bunch of bloop hits.  That was my particular favorite.

It's hard to tell when the transformation from brain to mush started.  Maybe during the game, when his best argument to the umpire after Jose Reyes was caught stealing (a play that ESPN  to death for the next five innings) was "You know, Jose usually gets those" (as he himself said during the broadcast).  Or maybe it started with all the injuries last season.  Or the collapse of 2008.  Or when he was given the job after Willie got a knock on his door at 3:12 in the morning.

Hell, maybe it started way back in 1981 when he started hurting the Mets by driving in the winning run in the game that clinched a playoff spot for the Expos.  It was a game I looked up after watching the 1994 Expos story on MLB Network, which was good television.  If I was blogging when I was 10 years old, I probably would have pitched a fit seeing Ellis Valentine in the Expos locker roomwhile they were celebrating.  Could care less that Valentine probably got a playoff share that season, stay with your own teammates.  And by the way, besides Manuel, there were four five other future managers that played in that game (Cubbage was not the one I forgot).  Can you name them without looking at the boxscore?

But it's complete tonight.  It's complete because this team consistently wastes good pitching.  Because David Wright has resigned to olé his way through life.  Because Frankie would rather beat up than man up.  Because this team has all its money tied up in Bernie Madoff and Oliver Perez.

Other than that, I have no idea.  But I'm not the gangsta.  I'm not supposed to have one.

Frankie Rodriguez is back!

So daughters, hide your fathers.

You've gotta think that Snoop Manuel is breathing a sigh of relief now that he has his closer back. Meanwhile Phillies starter Jamie Moyer, 47, is breathing a sigh of relief that he's on the disabled list and away from the team.

Frankie's return was marked by many things, bad defense ... Mets fans booing his return to the mound ... but most disturbing of all, it was marked by an Entourage commercial which ended with the words "F**k anger management". Aah, timing.

The Mets lost in his return by a score of 4-0 to Doc Halladay and the Phillies. Considering the Mets were 2-0 without Frankie can only mean that he's ruined clubhouse chemistry. Or at the very least, family lounge chemistry. Or maybe he just put holes in his teams' mitts, legs and brains with his fists of fury causing three errors, including one by Ruben Mr. Defense Tejada, and one by David Wright who looked disinterested in anything more strenuous than a half hearted lunge. Those errors led to three unearned runs to help send yet another pitcher to the looney bin ... this time, Pat Misch played the role of innocent bystander in his own return from Buffalo. I wonder how bad he's hoping to go back there so he can pitch in a playoff game.  (Yeah, Oliver Perez would think that's pretty looney.) Instead he's been assigned to start against Houston on Thursday.

Guess he'll just have to man up.

Well, just another reason to hate Cole Hamels.

In more no-hitter lunacy, all that stood between R.A. Dickey and Mets immortality was a sixth inning base hit by not only the opposing pitcher, but one of the most hateable in Mets lore, Cole Hamels.  However, it shouldn't take away from the fact that Dickey was brilliant, more so than he was against the Phillies last week in Philadelphia.  Gee, must have been all those signs the Mets steal, right Charlie?

So that's two in a row for the Mets, who haven't done that since the Richard Hidalgo era.  But more importantly, that's 2-0 since Frankie Rodriguez "galvanized the team" with his assault on a family member:

"Maybe it's a distraction we need ... Not to say it's a good thing, but maybe at the end of the day, we can turn it into a positive."-Jeff Francoeur

They'll write to that on the 2010 highlight film to be shown on SNY in February.  "The Mets used K-Rod's spark, a spark that was created by the friction of his fist on his father-in-law's face, to reel off their first two-game winning streak in a month to help them get back in the race."  Makes you wonder if this is what kids are going to be taught if Frenchy wins the grant to get them to school more often.  Yeah, good message.  Coincidentally, just a week earlier when asked what he felt the team needed, Frenchy said that he wished that someone would start a fight in the family lounge.  Unfortunately, it didn't help Frenchy's game as, with a runner on third base on Friday (who should have scored on a home run that was taken away because umpires either don't know ground rules or don't get video), he swung at a ball pitched towards the dugout, and a pitch at his eyes to strike out.  Good going, Frenchy.  If that wasn't the distraction he needed, I hate to see the one that works.

A couple of great reads came today courtesy of Ian O'Connor of ESPN New York, and the Post's Joel Sherman.  While I can't express their thoughts any better, I can agree with and confirm them. O'Connor is fed up with the mixed messages the Mets are famous for, and is coming around to the realization that this organization needs real, significant change.

"Of course, the bad karma gripping the Mets involves far more than this latest confrontation on K-Rod's resumé, a resumé that lists as references Tony Bernazard, Randy Niemann, and Brian Bruney ... Truth is, the Mets need a new and dynamic force in the worst way, something stronger than an adviser who can knock down Omar Minaya's bad ideas. Torre? Bobby Valentine? Cliff Lee? Billy Beane? The Mets desperately need a grand slam between now and Opening Day, 2011, and surprise, surprise: The number of grand slams they've hit this year matches the amount of consideration Manuel would've given to benching a freed K-Rod.  None."

Sherman goes one better in capturing the mood of at least one member of this God forsaken fan base:

It's never good when the security you hire to protect your players from fans, instead escorts your star closer to the police precinct built in your stadium to hold your unruly fans and not said closer. It gives "signaling to the pen for your closer" a whole new meaning.

The one thing to realize here with this is that this incident, despite the circumstantial evidence, didn't necessarily happen because Frankie Rodriguez was pissed about not pitching in Wednesday night's loss. Maybe, it could have been something else completely. Could have been something that nobody knows about. We might never know what set Frankie off. Maybe it was the eighth inning. Maybe it was Randy Niemann. Maybe it was transference from the Castillo pop-up that had been building up. Or maybe it was the way The Sopranos ended. Hey, maybe the father-in-law was in the wrong. Maybe he threw the first punch. Maybe he accused Frankie of cheating at dominoes. Maybe he told Frankie that McDonald's didn't serve Egg McMuffins at 10:30 PM. Maybe he said "Hey Frankie, you look like Lincoln with that beard." Who the hell knows.

But it sure as hell doesn't look good in any direction, does it? Third degree assault is third degree assault.

I was talking to a cabbie the other night and he was telling me how his friend had stopped bothering watching the Mets. My response was that the fun in watching the Mets these days was not that they lost, but how they would lose. And what disgrace would befall them in the process. I had know idea how right I was. (And as you know, I absolutely hate being right.)

Bad enough a trade for Mike Bordick at the beginning of the decade would continue to haunt the Mets at the beginning of the following decade as Melvin Mora smacked a grand slam off Manny Acosta ... you know, the circumstantial evidence that set Frankie off after the game. And bad enough David Wright earned himself a golden sombrero.

Of course, Frankie Rodriguez tops 'em all, punching out a family member at his job. Let that rattle around your brain. He assaulted family at the place where he works. How bad is your life that it comes to that?

I can honestly tell you that I don't know what to say anymore. I don't know how much more Met fans are supposed to put up with. I know it doesn't directly affect anybody else other than Frankie, his family, and the organization. And I know that if blame is laid here, it's most likely going to go to Frankie and not the organization, unless some wacky details make themselves known. But it's another stake to the heart of Met fans who have put up with, to be honest and blunt, some really stupid shit over the last two, five, fifteen, 24 seasons. And it's getting old. You think Met fans are going to grow apathetic because of a 42-game stretch without two straight victories? Let's see what happens when one of the megastars of your team sends his father-in-law to the hospital in Citi Field's Family Lounge.

The family lounge!!!

Yeah, it's time for this season to end. When there's a 50/50 chance the next time we see the closer on television it'll be not on SNY, but on MSNBC, it's time for the 2010 season to die a merciful death.

Mikey!  Where ya' been?

Oh, right.  Arm speed problems.

And thanks to the coaching staff for catching that.  That only took over a month.  Coincidentally, it was the same month it took Snoop to figure out that Carlos Beltran might need a night off here and there to stay fresh.

It's like catching a falling baby by waiting until she hits the ground and then picking her up.

Well, it wasn't exactly activating the emergency slide and telling a passenger to go f*** himself, but Alex Cora, as speculated, took a shot at Mets management on the way out (from XM's Jim Bowden):

"Alex Cora just told us that the Mets should be honest with the fan base and just build with the young players...but be honest w/the fans  ... if they are building for 2013 or 2014...they should just come out and say it and then do it"

Call that sour grapes if you want.  But ask yourself: Is he right?

The Mets will never come out and say that they're building for a season that isn't this one or the one coming up.  I'm not going to even bother hoping for that.  But they will spin it in a way that they're "moving towards youth" and have "had this plan all along".  Moving towards youth?  I'll buy that, even if it is a by-product of not wanting to spend any more money.  Had this plan all along?  Doubt it.  You can't move towards youth if you aren't willing to go over slot, or keep Billy Wagner for two first rounders rather than trade him for Chris Carter.

So Alex Cora is the employee of the month ... even though he's no longer an employee.  No word on whether he took a couple of beers from the clubhouse before leaving.