The funniest part of Sunday's game was before the game when Andrew Brown told Kevin Burkhardt that while most hitters love the dry air and the high altitudes of Las Vegas and the rest of the PCL, Brown hated Vegas because their fans aren't real baseball fans, and they just come to heckle the home team after a night of gambling (losing) and carousing. Oh, the fun times that produced.

But then, in a moment that would make Alanis Morrisette's dark heart quiver ...

Andrew Brown shaking hands with people and leaving. No announcement yet. #mets

— Mike Kerwick (@mikekerwick) May 13, 2013

We all know what that means. It means he's going back to Vegas to deal with the hecklers. Poor Andrew Brown ... not even 24 hours after he torches Vegas, back he goes! He thought the heckling was bad before? Oh man.

But why was Brown leaving? Who was coming?

Mets sign Rick Ankiel, and he is starting in CF.say.ly/lCk5Oya

— Kevin Burkhardt (@KBurkhardtSNY) May 13, 2013

What? Ankiel? We're signing Astros castoffs now? Tony Eusebio wasn't available?

The funniest part of this, besides the fact that the signing was announced just three hours or so before game time and already he was starting in center field as if he was Ultimate Warrior waiting to save Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania 8, was Terry Collins trying to rationalize the move:

"Maybe a change of scenery right now is good for him to get him going."

Also:

Terry Collins on Rick Ankiel, alluding to time with #Nats: "We can't get him out." #mets

— Adam Rubin (@AdamRubinESPN) May 13, 2013

Okay first off, this is Ankiel's sixth team in five years. He's changed sceneries more than a wedding planner working for Bridezilla. That's not the problem. Second, the Mets couldn't get him out when he was with the Nationals because they couldn't get anybody out. So, not the best barometer there, Terry. Ankiel played for the Nats in 2011 and 2012. In 2012 he went 0 for 5 against the Mets but in 2011 he had 62 plate appearances for the Nats against New York and hit  .304 ... a season in which he hit .239 overall. This same season, the Mets were 13th in the N.L. in ERA, and 15th in total hits given up. So I'm pretty sure that the Mets in 2011 couldn't get me out, which would have led to Sandy Alderson signing me to play the outfield. So it's flawed logic and coach speak from the manager. And we see right through it. But thanks for playing.

Oh, and Ankiel has no shoes or equipment. Borrowing everything tonight. #Mets

— Kevin Burkhardt (@KBurkhardtSNY) May 13, 2013

Terrific. But hey, it's only for one game until UPS gets their act together, right? What could possibly go wrong?

After borrowing and then feeling uncomfortable using Scott Rice's glove while shagging pregame, Ankiel instead borrowed a glove from Jonathon Niese. The normally solid defensive center fielder then dropped Ty Wigginton's sinking liner in the seventh inning while lunging forward. The shot, which popped out of the borrowed glove, was ruled a double. Wigginton eventually scored the tiebreaking run on an odd play as the Mets lost Ankiel's debut, 6-3 to the St. Louis Cardinals on Monday night at Busch Stadium.

Oh, using a pitcher's glove for lack of a better option. I hate when that happens.

"All my stuff got stuck in Houston," Ankiel said. "I don't know what happened with the mail there or whatever, but we're on a borrow program tonight. Hopefully whatever stuff I borrow has some hits in it."

Well there were no hits for you, but the stuff sure as hell had a hit for Ty Wigginton, didn't it.

Let's face it, Ankiel has one job here ... and that's to play defense. Make spectacular catches and gun down runners at a moment's notice. Because the man can't hit. This makes Ankiel the lefty Jeff Francoeur ... Jeff Frankiel, if you will. He took the number 16 because he loved Doc Gooden. And he seems to want to match Doc's 276 strikeouts from 1984 for the rest of the season (the count is at two after Monday's game). But if that's the case with Ankiel, then why couldn't they just let Lagares play every day? He's the same type of player that Ankiel provides no significant upgrade from.

Full disclosure: When Angel Pagan fell apart in 2011 and it was apparent that he had to go, I thought Ankiel was an acceptable option. But with Lagares here, and Matt den Dekker on the way, and Ankiel getting worse by the year, he is a redundant roster filler who somehow let his equipment get stuck in Houston helping the Mets to lose a game. Must not have been room in his carry on bag for his mitt with all the suntan lotion he has. He should share some with Andrew Brown for his trip back to Vegas.

You know me. You read me long enough and you pretty much know which direction I'm going to go. And in the past, I'd be cursing our luck thinking about that play in the eighth inning where Lucas Duda grounded one off first base, high into the air, and into the second baseman's glove who easily threw out Duda because he's slow enough to gather moss. All this with the tying and go ahead runs in scoring position.

But first off, if Duda's ground ball doesn't hit the bag, the first baseman is right there and the inning would have been over anyway. And second, how about Ike Davis gets a hit once in a while? If he does his job then Duda's pinball job doesn't hurt the Mets. And you could probably say that about a handful of games this season where if Ike does what he's supposed to do, the Mets pull it out. Or even if Ike decides "hey lookie, the third baseman is playing me in section 112, maybe a bunt would be a good idea here in the eighth inning" that would have worked too! No. Ike strikes out for the 4,000th time this week and makes everybody's mom cry on Mother's Day.

The runner on third was Daniel Murphy after a double in the eighth. But that was his first hit in 17 at bats, and his average has dropped 71 points in two and a half weeks. You know how Tony D'Amato once said that the inches we need are everywhere around us? This team isn't missing by inches. Missing by inches is a missed cutoff man, or a balk, or getting thrown out stealing. The Mets right now missing by yards. When players who are supposed to perform flat out don't perform, that's missing by yards. The inches they need are everywhere. But the Mets can't even get the yards they need by performing the basics. Like hitting.

Matt Harvey gave up two runs in a rough third inning. As noted by the SNY crew, the crowd fell eerily silent. Could it have been the loft standards Harvey has set for himself? Or could it be that SNY treats every Harvey start as if it's the playoffs? I think more the latter than the former, but that's an aside. Here's the main point: In Harvey's last 16 innings he's given up two runs, six hits, and has only walked two. And he doesn't have one win. Why? Because this team can't hit. And I'm looking straight at you: Ike and Daniel. Collins has tried Murphy third, Davis seventh, and back to second and fourth again. Nothing. What else can Terry do besides choose the lineup out of a smelly hat? Hit the ball. 

And Harvey won't be able to save the Mets in the next four games. Take a look at the SNY graphic:

Holy crap ... we're screwed! And you know the worst part of these matchups is that even if the Mets pull one or two out of the fire in this four game set, you know they're not winning the game against the guy making his major league debut. They might win Monday's game against Lynn, and they might shock everyone and beat Adam Wainwright, because nothing the Mets do makes complete sense. But John Gast? The minor league player of the month in April making his debut? No shot. None. Six innings, three hits, two walks, one run. Written in the stars.

It got to the point during the Mets' 11-2 loss to the Pirates on Saturday where I was cheering the rain delay programming. First, some World War I program. I think. Then, Unsealed Aliens ... which was yanked off right when they got to the part about the ballistic test. And for what? To play the bottom of the ninth of a 11-1 game in front of 30 people. Like, literally ... 30 people. So that Andrew Brown can hit a home run while down by ten runs. He's obviously nothing more than a stat compiler. And by stat compiler, I mean he has now compiled three hits, two RBI, and one home run because of the end of the rain delay which interrupted my viewing of Unsealed Aliens.

Obviously the elephant in the room is Terry Collins sending Jordany Valdespin in to pinch hit while the team was down by nine runs after stylin' on a home run down by six runs the night before. Predictably, Valdespin got plunked. Many have wondered why the Mets didn't protect their teammate. If the Mets were worried about protecting Valdespin, he wouldn't have come up to bat in a useless game. Terry Collins gave fresh meat to the wolves and turned it into a teaching moment.

But one thing I'd love for Terry to teach Valdespin is how to get hit by a pitch. Valdespin could say what he wants (and after the game he chose to say nothing), but he had to know he was getting hit unless he's dense. (And considering he let somebody take a picture of him while wearing a Marlins cap, him being dense is up for debate.) He stuck his arm in the way of the pitch when trying to back away when what he really should have done was turn his back to the pitch and take it between the shoulder blades. The dope could have broken his elbow sticking it towards that pitch without a clue, especially when he knew he could get hit. So the little tantrum he threw in the dugout, well that was his own fault in more ways than one.

Update:

@metstradamus He stuck his arm in the way because He knew he was gonna hit. Why? Because he put armor on his arm which he never did before

— Matthew Falkenbury (@dailystache) May 12, 2013

That's a great catch by my Daily Stache friend. Proof that he had to know what was coming. It's still not the way batters are taught to deal with a bean ball and Valdespin is lucky that Bryan Morris' pitch came at that level. Any higher or lower and he turns like that, Valdespin is screwed.

I like that Valdespin annoys opponents. I like when he shows emotion. Even when he reacted after hitting a triple down by six runs in and pissed off Philadelphia in the process I didn't mind. This one, I understand the Pirates reaction, and I understand ... a tiny bit ... the Mets sending him to be plunked. And if this doesn't teach him whatever lesson that the Mets want him to learn, then nothing will and he's going to Milledge his way off the team right or wrong. I hope that if Valdespin leaves the Mets at least it's because of a lack of talent or that somebody else really wants him and will give up something to get him ... not because of this nonsense. (But we know that the level of nonsense a team will put up with is proportional to the amount of talent one has. So that goes hand in hand.)

To me there's a line between genuine emotion and showboating. Clapping after a triple in Philadelphia: genuine. High fiving fans after tying the game with a home run: genuine. Flipping the bat hitting a home run down by six in the ninth: ehhhhhhh, a little showboating there. Think about how many times you wanted a batter to be hit after a bat flip like that. Hong Chih Kuo comes to mind (skip to about the 1:48 mark):

And as for protecting your teammate, the Mets don't even protect teammates who deserve protecting. Remember when Timo Perez hit a ninth inning home run against the Rockies to help end a 12 game winning streak and exhaustedly raise his hands as if to say "thank the Lord!"? John Valentin got hit in retaliation, and Timo Perez got thrown at all day the next day in a couple of at-bats before David Weathers finally decided that was enough and retaliated in the ninth. The Mets of 11 years ago felt more of less the same way about Timo Perez as the Mets of today felt about Valdespin, which would explain why Timo was allowed to become a human bullseye for so long. Even with that fact, I was incensed that it took as long as it did for a Met to come to the defense of Perez. Despite what the room felt about him they should have had his back sooner.

The JV1 incident is a very similar situation to that. I'm not sure this situation bothers me as much as the Timo situation did. There was something about his pimping to his HR Friday night that was slightly different than his triple against Philadelphia or Timo's HR against the Rockies. I'm not sure I can explain it except to go back a couple of paragraphs and say that it was slightly more showboating and slightly less genuine emotion. But I'm glad it's over without an injury, and without an incident involving Valdespin's hands and Terry Collins' neck in his office. Hopefully, this stays over and we can worry about whether Valdespin can produce rather than whether he follows all the "unwritten rules". In the grand scheme of things, no matter what anybody's opinion on this is ... and no matter how many words I may write about it which turn out to be useless anyway ... this isn't a big deal.

(And remember, when you think that something that Valdespin does is classless, just remember that there are others ... more experienced ... who can be just as immature who should know better.)

What I can explain is that nothing involving Valdespin bothers me nearly as much as the fact that this entire team can't hit (as evidenced by not being able to hit yet another pitcher making his season debut or close to it after an injury), nobody on this team can pitch except Matt Harvey and Scott Rice, everyone is tired to the point where they have to bring up Greg Burke so that Scott Atchison and LaTroy Hawkins, a combined 194 years old, can rest, and Banner Day is held at 10:30 in the morning ensuring that nobody will see the hard work that people put into their art except Kevin Burkhardt and a radio disc jockey. And maybe talking about Valdespin is a convenient excuse for everybody, including me, to avoid talking about the fact that outside of Matt Harvey, David Wright, and a career minor league lefty specialist, this team is awful.

(Update: Add Bobby Parnell to that list. I forget about him because this team isn't allowing him to have an impact. But he's been very good too. And Lucas Duda ... kind of.)

Where Have You Gone Andy Van Slyke is probably the best Pirates blog on the interwebs. Here's what Patrick had to say about Friday's matchup beforehand:

Shaun Marcum, someone that seemed like a decent fit for the Pirates while the whole Francisco Liriano debacle was happening, is going for the Mets. He dealt with shoulder problems in camp and neck problems after that and in the games he has pitched he's been pretty bad. This is the sort of game that you'd like to see the Pirates win, based on pitching matchup alone.

Well that was shot right through the heart of the deer, wasn't it? (I don't condone shooting deer with arrows or bullets or killer rainbows.)

Matt Harvey has done some things never before seen in a Mets uniform. Shaun Marcum achieved that tonight, but not in a good way. Marcum has become the first Met to go his first three starts without going five innings. Think about that, we've had guys like Jeff D'Amico, Victor Zambrano, and Julio Valera. And even they went five innings at least once in their first three starts. That takes some sort of ... something. And it could have been worse than six runs in four and 2/3's, as he gave up about 17 straight hits in the second inning, bailed out by Marlon Byrd gunning down Jose Tabata going first to third on a hit, limiting the damage to three runs in the second. He also gave up three runs in the fifth when Garrett Jones hit a two run triple that was turned into a three run dinger after a replay reversal. Angel Hernandez, who will not receive any discipline for his stupidity mainly because he was out-stupided by Fieldin Culbreth, was nowhere in the building to screw up the call. And that was the hit that put Marcum in the Mets record books forever or until somebody worse comes along. (I hope this happens after I die.)

I'm getting the feeling that we're all going to gather on the Shea Bridge in ten years saying "Remember Shaun Marcum? That was supposed to be Dickey's replacement!" Then we all laugh until we barf. I'm already anticipating the good times we'll have together. I feel this way because with the anticipation building for Zack Wheeler's imminent call-up, and due to the fact that Wheeler can't replace three guys at once, somebody has to fall behind. That seems to be Marcum after tonight ... the same Shaun Marcum we were all wishing expedited good health to because Aaron Laffey was murderously awful. (Hell, not even Aaron Laffey went three starts as a Met without going five innings ... but that's because he was cut after two starts.)

Hopefully Wheeler comes up soon, if only because it will give us all things to talk about instead of Shaun Marcum assaulting the Mets record book, Terry Collins wondering why he can't have Albert Pujols, or whether Jordany Valdespin admiring a meaningless home run land in the Pepsi Porch is bad for the game.

And oh, I almost forgot, David Wright's knee is sore after he fouled a pitch off it early in the game. Wright is downplaying it, so I will too. Until of course he wakes up and it's the size of the center field scoreboard and Justin Turner plays third base for the rest of my life. Ike Davis thinks there's no way this could possibly happen, so not to worry.

Terry Collins thinks that one day, baseball players will one day be robots and that we'll all be watching them. I'm guessing that Terry accidentally unveiled the Wilpons' next great master plan. They were once the family that came up with the master plan to defer their payments to Bobby Bonilla. With that having blown up in their faces, their next plan may very well be to employ robots to do the work of nine Marlon Byrds ... nine players who they wouldn't have to pay at all! All they'd have to do is oil them up a little bit, which means that while they cut down on their overhead, the Wilpons might have to invade a Middle Eastern country to keep their players loose.

That was the backdrop for Thursday's game ... players possibly being replaced by robots. And if anybody was scared of losing their job, they sure as hell didn't show it early, as the Mets could only muster one run and three hits in six innings off of  some guy named Jeff Locke, recently referred to as "a puzzle". Well to the Mets he was a freakin' Rubik's Cube with spikes. But thanks to Dillon Gee, and thanks to Brandon Lyon once Dillon Gee performed his old, tired "not get anybody out in the sixth inning" routine, the Mets stayed in the game at 1-1, and big hits traded by Ike Davis in the seventh and Pedro Alvarez in the eighth made it 2-2.

The ninth inning was interesting. Juan Lagares was playing no doubles defense against Jose Tabata.

@metstradamus Terry Collins is aware of who Jose Tabata is, right?

— Pat Lackey (@whygavs) May 10, 2013

Apparently he thought Tabata was a robot (or Andrew McCutchen). Because when Tabata hit one to where he was supposed to hit one, Lagares looked like he was coming in from guarding the Geico sign on the wall. Now this being the Mets, that simple act of playing it by the book from the 50's and 60's instead of the actual book on Tabata would have cost them in the ninth inning. But fear not, because playing that deep on a hitter who actually deserves outfielders playing deep was the act that saved them, as with two outs, McCutchen smacked a Bobby Parnell pitch so hard that somewhere in Venezuela Victor Zambrano went running from the dinner table holding his elbow (and he's still not sure why). But Juan Lagares, playing in pretty much the same area he was playing Tabata in, was able to reach the wall and make a leaping grab of a ball that seemed labeled for the orange line at the top of the wall which would have given the Pirates the lead.

Instead, the Mets were unscathed going to the bottom of the ninth off of Pirates closer Jason Grilli (the one they call "Grilled Cheese"), which they handled with surprising efficiency thanks to an infield hit by Byrd to second baseman Brandon Inge (you heard right ... second baseman Brandon Inge), a sac bunt by Andrew Brown, and a pinch hit walk-off single by the very same player who won the game on Tuesday, Mike Baxter. Maybe Baxter is a robot. To do what he's done over the last three days with such precision can only be done by those with no feeling ... no regard for human emotion.

Baxter received his post game walk-off pie from Justin Turner which, unless you're lactose intolerant, is a great way to top off a grilled cheese dinner. Maybe all he really needs is oil.

You might have missed this last night. And who could blame you, since you were probably watching the Mets get bludgeoned with a blow-up mallet by the White Sox, which is the equivalent of "living under a rock" that people would accuse you of if you have gotten this long without seeing what happened in last nights A's/Indians game:

So to sum up, Angel Hernandez had video evidence that Adam Rosales hit a home run ... not just a home run, a game tying home run with two outs in the f*cking ninth ... and still ruled that he hit a double. The A's lost 4-3 as Rosales never came around to score.

Major League Baseball released a statement:

"By rule, the decision to reverse a call by use of instant replay is at the sole discretion of the crew chief. In the opinion of Angel Hernandez, who was last night's crew chief, there was not clear and convincing evidence to overturn the decision on the field. It was a judgment call, and as such, it stands as final. "Home and away broadcast feeds are available for all uses of instant replay, and they were available to the crew last night. Given what we saw, we recognize that an improper call was made. Perfection is an impossible standard in any endeavor, but our goal is always to get the calls right. Earlier this morning, we began the process of speaking with the crew to thoroughly review all the circumstances surrounding last night's decision."  

Well that's all well and good, Joe Torre. But without action, words mean nothing. The action I would like to see taken: Well, among other things, Angel Hernandez being shot into the sun. Nothing short of that. Not only did he blow the call with the help of replay, but then to have the nerve to demand that reporters not get him on video explaining his position???

Angel Hernandez said no recorded interview, only write down answers but says they didn't have enough evidence to reverse call. #Athletics

— Susan Slusser (@susanslusser) May 9, 2013

Gee Angel, would you like us to take out the green M&M's too? Of all the people to say "don't tape me bro", of all the umpires to say "don't tape me bro", this guy?

"Hernandez is reputed around the league to be an umpire who yearns for the spotlight."

That league, by the way, was the American Association, as that quote was from 1991, as he was blowing calls at a young age! How was he promoted? Now look, I'm not for calling on people to lose their livelihood. But when it comes to Angel Hernandez, how much more proof do you need, Joe Torre? Usually, I'm into fixing the problem instead of firing somebody to prove a point. And I think a "war room" in New York, just as the NHL does in Toronto, would be the perfect way to go. I've always thought that. But nobody would be talking about a war room if Angel Hernandez was competent at his f*cking job!!! So while I care about fixing the problem, shooting Angel Hernandez into the sun would go a long way towards fixing the problem.

Not to mention provide accountability, which is non-existent among the umpiring contingent. Jim Joyce was a good umpire who made a horrendous call. Nobody wanted him fired. Angel Hernandez is an arrogant incompetent fool who makes horrible calls all the time. And he might have cost the A's a division title or a playoff spot. So again, words without action are useless. That game needs to be picked up at 4-4 somewhere down the line in the season. No, you don't want to set a precedent in terms of replaying games from certain points. But since the 1983 Pine Tar Game, I'm fairly sure that no other game has been picked up a month later because of a reversal of an umpiring call. So if setting a precedent means this happens once every 30 years, I'm okay with that.

That, along with instituting a war room in New York which would create jobs (okay, like five of them), along with shooting Angel Hernandez into the sun would be appropriate actions to back up empty statements. I won't hold my breath.

I'll be completely honest with you. I was at the Rangers game tonight. I don't have quite as good a record as Matt Harvey does at Ranger games, but it was a very workmanlike performance by me as the Rangers tied up their series against the Caps 4-3.

(And by workmanlike performance, I mean ... I did nothing to help.)

And I really had the best of intentions to come home, as late an hour as it was, and watch the Mets/White Sox game through my mlb.tv account, so I can give an honest account of what happened. I've given up on trying not to see the score of the game and telling everybody whose paths I cross "don't tell me the score don't tell me the score, I want to be surprised." I mean, do people still do that? Especially if they're at another sporting event where there are televisions everywhere. And Twitter! My lord, the Twitter! So I check out the score at various points, through various outlets.

The first thing I see while I was able to sneak a peek at the SNY feed was this:

Alejandro de Aza: 3 for 3, HR

Really? Not enough the Mets get taken to the woodshed by the Miami Marlins, they're going to get milked by former Florida Marlins? Is that the way this season is going to go?

Then, while checking out my phone app, I see the following under "scoring plays":

Top of 3rd (Ball: 3 Strike: 1 Out: 1)

Conor Gillaspie doubles (4) on a pop up to shortstop Ruben Tejada. Alexei Ramirez scores. Alex Rios scores. Jeremy Hefner pitching.

A two run double on a pop-up to shortstop? Do I really want to watch this game?

(I can only assume that's what this fresh hell was):

Then I check my twitter feed and I see this:

Justin Turner is playing left field for the first time in the majors. Collins had said Turner would eventually play in the outfield.

— Jorge Castillo (@jorgeccastillo) May 9, 2013

I turn my back for a second and go to one damn playoff game, and Justin Turner is in the outfield? Is that where the Lucky Charms are? The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Fresh whipped cream?

Then I catch some highlights as I'm picking up a late night snack and I see this:

And that's when I decided, I'm not throwing away three hours of my life to watch what I know is going to make stupider than the woman who was arrested for DUI because she was out celebrating getting her driver's license back after her first DUI. I'm going to need those brain cells for the next loss ... which probably comes on Friday because Matt Harvey isn't pitching. The Mets are now 7-16 in games that Harvey watches, in stark contrast to the Rangers' 6-0 record when he watches them. So just send Harvey to Washington for Game 5. If he can't help the Mets, let him help somebody who can use it.

Two run double on a pop-up to short. Dammit all to hell.

Tuesday started with Chris Carlin and Bob Ojeda doing the Mets myriad of pre-game shows (Pre Game Live at 6:30, First Pitch at 6:00, Pre First Pitch at 5:30, Screamin' Ojeda's Cooking Recipes at 5:00, David Wright Finds a Parking Space at 4:30, so on and so forth) live from Citi Field instead of their usual cozy corner of the studio. I'm still not 100% sure why this was, but the prevailing feeling I got was that this was a special "Harvey Day" appearance by the crew. That is, of course, unless they were kicked out of the studio so that Jets Nation could tape their one hour special: "Tim Tebow ... Why?"

I have to admit, as much as I love "Harvey Day", the thought of being live from Citi Field before every start at the beginning of the day was a bit much for me. Enough for SNY to count down to every Harvey start with pop-up graphics during every game. But kinda ridiculous to me to give every Harvey start the Opening Day treatment, or the playoff treatment. If that is indeed what it was, it didn't make sense. But after Harvey's performance against the White Sox ... nine innings of one hit ball and a perfect game through six and two thirds, I change my mind. And let's go one step further: Let's put bunting on the walls for every Matt Harvey start. Hell, make every time like the first time. His performances, I have a feeling, will regularly show us things we've never seen before.

For example, when was the last time you saw a guy go nine shutout innings, give up one hit, and start the game with a 1-2-3 inning and a bloody nose???

If you were the White Sox, would you want to face this?

It was like the scene in the diner where Superman was a regular guy and got the tar beat out of him and he saw his blood for the first time and didn't know what to do. Matt Harvey? Show him his kryptonite and he knows what to do. Bloody his nose and he'll go 1-2-3. End his perfect game with an infield hit? He won't give you another one. Have him pitch for a team with a lineup full of numb nuts who can't hit, he'll strike out 12 batters and go nine scoreless. And yes, this Mets lineup might wind up being the strongest kryptonite he'll face this season. Not that he has to really face them ... because if he faced the Mets lineup every game he'd end the season with an ERA of 0.14 (David Wright would have to run into a couple, no?) But face them as in "face them in the clubhouse and make them look away awkwardly because they can't face YOU!" He got run support from his teammates pretty much all season until the last two starts, when the Mets cost him a win in Miami because Collin Cowgill couldn't track a fly ball, and tonight because they couldn't score against Hector Santiago and, even worse, Matt Lindstrom.

Thankfully, despite the Mets' best attempt to turn Harvey's masterpiece into a disgraceful display of ineptitude, the team pulled through in the tenth with an Ike Davis walk (you mean, he didn't swing at everything?) a sac bunt, and a rope to right field by Mike Baxter to beat Robin Ventura, Joe McEwing, Daryl Boston, and whichever other Ex-Mets the White Sox have locked up in the basement ready to unleash at a moment's notice in their return to beautiful downtown Flushing, 1-0. Talking about Harvey's masterpiece without the Mets actually winning the game would be akin to gushing over Endy Chavez's catch, albeit a smaller scale. Thankfully, there were multiple presents underneath the Harvey tree instead of just socks and underwear. The best part though of the entire day was earlier on MLB Network's "MLB NOW" ... you know, the show where they tell Brian Kenny and Harold Reynolds to argue about everything. And when they were posed the question "Who would you rather have, Matt Harvey or Madison Bumgarner", they agreed! But they agreed on Bumgarner! Basically, they chose Bumgarner because he's been around longer and has a deeper resume. Fine.

Harvey's response: Nine innings, twelve strikeouts, and as many bloody noses as hits given up. Your move, Madison.

Some of the Mets took advantage of the day off by watching the New York Rangers defeat the Washington Capitals 4-3 to cut the Caps' series lead to 2-1. Justin Turner and Ike Davis took the game in while wearing these stylish "Ovi Sucks" shirts, rooting the Rangers on to victory.

With the Capitals having an off day in New York on Tuesday, maybe Alex Ovechkin will return the favor and show up at Citi Field wearing one of these babies:

That would be pretty hysterical.

The third guy in that picture is my good buddy Mark Rosenman, covering the game for WLIE 540 AM. And he also got the chance to catch up with Matt Harvey on the "Blue Carpet" before the game. You'll get a good idea of why the Rangers were victorious when you hear Harvey tell us what his record is at Ranger games this season.

Maybe Terry Collins can spare Harvey on Wednesday to attend Game 4.

It was supposed to be a rejuvenating night off. Saturday's game was rained out five or six hours before game time. They avoided a day game after a night game. Members of the Mets went to see Iron Man 3. They should have been refreshed and sharp.

Instead, the Mets played what might be on record as the worst defensive game ever in the history of baseball for a team that wasn't credited with an error. They probably had no chance to win anyway from jump as Tim Hudson was barely asked to do any heavy lifting all game with seven and eight pitch innings. Throw in Jon Niese's bad outing, and you have the ugliest Mets game of the season.

The third inning was the undoing ... for everybody. After Tim Hudson mowed down the Mets for three innings, the Braves scored five off of Niese thanks to Lucas Duda chasing a fly ball in left field as a dog would chase a frisbee affected by a strong gust of wind. Duda not having the dexterity of a dog gave Freddie Freeman a double, and the Braves two free runs. Then after a wild pitch which probably should have been a passed ball scored Freeman, B.J. Upton reached on an infield single which should have been an error on David Wright. (Gee, where have we seen that happen before?) That led to the fifth run of the inning on a Reed Johnson RBI single.

Niese didn't fare too well after that. He walked Tim Hudson after the Johnson RBI, then in the fifth, the coup de grace ... walking not just Dan Uggla (41 K's on the season) but B.J. Upton (35 K's) too. He was pulled from the game after that, and in a bizarre moment in television, SNY showed Niese walking down some random tunnel in the sixth inning with his head down, spitting in the hallway.

In addition to trying to figure out what this added to the broadcast, I was also wondering why it wasn't accompanied by The Lonely Man from the Incredible Hulk?

Or were they hoping that Niese would grow green muscles and attack the cameraman?

The Mets, after Sunday's poor excuse for a performance, are now 7-15 in games that Matt Harvey doesn't start. Thankfully, Harvey starts on Tuesday unless the noted New York Rangers fan gives himself a concussion on Monday facepalming after the Blueshirts squander more power play opportunities at Madison Square Garden. But the difference in the record in Harvey starts and non-Harvey starts puts in focus a stark reality:

Mike Pelfrey is 3-3.