Oh yeah, I'm sure glad that I let myself be optimistic about this season so that I could get smacked back to earth with a stark reminder that hoping for everything to go right is a fruitless endeavor. It's just like life.
You see, Ike Davis "likely" has Valley Fever (or Coccidioidomycosis if you feel like spelling), which he probably likely got by breathing in Arizona. Well that would mean that Ike Davis got hurt breathing. Great, we're hoping for everybody to stay healthy through a 162 game season and Ike Davis lands on the injury list just by drawing air. Outstanding:
"Ike Davis underwent a routine physical exam after his arrival in PSL. The exam included an abnormal chest X-ray. Following additional tests here and in NYC, pulmonary and infectious disease specialists have concluded that Ike likely has Valley Fever, which is expected to resolve itself over time. Ike is not contagious, is not taking any medication for his condition and does not currently exhibit any of the outward symptoms associated with Valley Fever. However, Ike has been instructed to avoid extreme fatigue. No additional tests or examinations are pending, but Ike will have a follow up exam when the team returns to NYC in early April."
Avoid extreme fatigue ... so tumbling over the dugout railing after a foul pop is out?
Luckily, Valley Fever in its most common form is pretty mild. Of course in the form of a Met affliction it will probably force his retirement. But this statement is key:
"The disease almost always goes away without treatment."
Well thank heavens for that. Because you know that actual treatment from a Mets doctor can be life threatening. Given the chance to actually treat, the Mets medical staff would probably have Ike's lungs fitted for a walking boot, cutting off circulation and breathing at the same time.
The best aspect of all this is the groups of people that this usually afflicts: "Farmers, archaeologists, Military personnel, and construction workers." How the hell did Ike Davis get an infection that farmers get? I'll tell you how, he's a Met. Farmers, archaeologists, Military personnel, construction workers, and Mets. Hell they're going to have to add "Mets" to every list of higher risk groups of every disease in the world.
Ike Davis likely has Valley Fever. Once a Met gets dysentery and whooping cough, we'll be ready for the season to begin.