The Candidate You Deserve

Written by Metstradamus on Friday, 31 August 2012 04:30.

Wright_for_President_2012

"The sooner you vote for me, the sooner the Phillies play their home games in Guantanamo Bay."

"I'm David Wright and I approve this message."

-Guantanamo Bay is not affiliated with Jason Bay

(Inspiration originiated by Amazin Avenue)

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WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING ABOUT "THE MUSINGS AND PROPHECIES OF METSTRADAMUS:

"If drinking Drano helps keep your big mouth shut please I'm buying. If you can't have fun playing ball then check your self into a mental ward." -Dennis Gambuzza

"Well, there's 5 mins I won't ever get back in my life. Was it supposed to be funny?" -Matty

"Drop your skirt and climb down off the table already."-Dave Crockett

"Could we be anymore dramatic? Relax,the sky is not falling..."-Steve

"Some times you have to let it go Mr. Testosterone."-Anonymous

"With all due respect, shut up."-anonymous

"Metstra, hardly a collapse you dumbass"-Mark

"You're an idiot...How about being partial in your reproting. Who are you John Sterling"-anonymous

"This post was stupid and pointless...What on earth did this display except that you're cranky?"-anonymous

"You write a lot. What's with that?"-Jen Gyllenhaal (No relation, I think)

"Did you spend thanxgiving over @ Michael Irvin's house????"-Jabair

"What is wrong with you? I've got to put you out of your misery..."-Darth Marc

"For a good time, call Mr. Met. 718-577-TIXX"-Mr. Met

"Go to hell."-Erica

"You Bastard!"-Erik Love

"I want this guy dead."-frozeropes, a quote taken shamelessly out of context

"I threw up just a little bit in my mouth."-my brother

"As someone who loves holiday song parodies, this gets a big-time thumbs up."-Mark Simon

"Bite me."-Mario

"Noah also says 'Bite Me'" -Mario

"Photoballs? Bleeping photoballs?"-Greg Prince

"Sometimes a franchise just has a big, black mark over it and no amount of wishful thinking can turn the tide..."-Jaap Still

"Brilliant use of an instructional picture book."-Kyle in Newport News

"Does Met$tra have a gambling problem?"-Erik Love

"Hasta la vista baby. I throw up the white flag."-Joe

"I'm still a fan, but enough is enough."-Meet the Mets

"I watch the grass grow - it's more exciting."-David

"Freaking Chipper Jones. I HATE Freaking Chipper Jones."-Dave Murray

"Good God man, what have you done??!! You've released the genie from the bottle. I see the showers and toilets backing up at Shea, emergency landings at LGA, unusual tides in Flushing Bay, and when they break ground for the new stadium the construction gang will unearth and disturb some ancient Indian burial ground for unlucky and cursed members of the Iroquois nation...Blaspheme no more Metstradamus! You are tempting the fates!"-The Metmaster

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